Apr 20
Steph West is the creator and director of Starfish Social Club, which teaches neurodivergent kids and teens how to make friends without masking or conforming. She’s on a mission to change the way we teach social skills, as well as the way we raise our neurodivergent kids in general.
Steph was formally diagnosed with ADHD in 2021, which has made her even more committed to her students and helps them relate to her on a very personal level. Her goal with her work is never to teach autistic and ADHD students how to conform to neurotypical society, rather, it’s to help them develop dynamic social awareness and problem-solving skills to connect with their peers, while still preserving the traits that make them unique.
Steph’s ideology serves as a great reminder that we can all learn how to move through social interactions more easily without sacrificing our authenticity, and I’m so delighted to share her valuable perspective with you this episode.
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"I teach social awareness. I teach contextual awareness and I teach my kids how to problem solve. My big thing is I teach them the consequences of different choices."
- Steph West
"I don't care whether anybody is formally diagnosed or not, but I do think when people are formally diagnosed it comes with a sense of belonging and a sense of community and a sense of validation that there are other people like you and there are other people with your shared experiences. So I do think that having that can be really helpful for people. Once it has a name and once you realize that there's a community out there, it has its own sense of inclusiveness."
- Steph West
"I teach about the concept of reputation, which I've never seen another social skills program that talks about that. Your reputation is what other people think about you and it comes from the things that you say and the things that you do. This is the very first lesson in my program, it's the foundation of everything."
- Steph West
- Steph reflects on her journey with ADHD, recognizing similarities between her experiences and those of her students.
- Steph discovered characteristics of ADHD during the diagnostic process, including things she didn't even know were part of the disorder.
- Steph reflects on her childhood, feeling like she didn't fit into the ideal family mold and was expected to conform to her parents' expectations.
[27:50 - 49:35] ADHD diagnosis and its impact on personal and professional life
- Steph recognized her talent in helping people with cognitive disabilities work through difficult situations, leading her to pursue a career in special education.
- Steph shares her experience with ADHD and estrangement from her brother, who recently revealed his ADHD diagnosis as an adult.
- Steph suggests that children's limited working memory capacity hinders their ability to hold and manipulate new information, leading to repetitive behaviors.
- Steph shares her experience working with hundreds of children with autism, refuting the common misconception that autistic individuals are uninterested in social interactions.
- Steph highlights the importance of understanding and addressing executive functioning, impulsivity, and hyper-focusing in students with autism.
- Steph believes that people with neurodivergent conditions, such as autism and ADHD, feel emotions more strongly than others, including both positive and negative emotions.
Website: www.StarfishSocialClub.org
Facebook: www.FB.com/StarfishSocialClubSATX
Podcast: Social Skills Unscripted
