July 13
Applying to college feels more like a grueling competition these days, with an acceptance into one of the top 20 schools being the ultimate prize. But when you “win” the competition, what are you actually winning? That’s a question author Irena Smith poses in her recent memoir, The Golden Ticket: A Life in College Admissions Essays.
Irena, who also runs a private college counseling practice, has seen how much the pressures of college are impacting our kids’ mental health and limiting their futures, and she believes that it’s our job as parents to take a step back and remember what’s really important. “Pushing a kid to punch above their weight in terms of applying to college is not necessarily a healthy thing. Maybe the goal is simply that the kid graduates from high school with health and sanity intact. There's a lot of time to figure out what to do.”
During our conversation we discussed Irena’s brilliant book and the writing process behind it, her ADHD childhood and emigrating from the Soviet Union, some measurable ways parents can reduce the pressure on both their children and themselves during the college admissions process, and so much more.
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"You can't make somebody care about what they're learning and you can't make somebody like school."
- Irena Smith
"There are absolutely brilliant kids who don't do school well and who are not good at timed tests, but they have other phenomenal skills which are not being recognized or nurtured in our school system. Women with ADHD and I think just people in general who never go to college are in my experience some of the brightest, most capable people I know."
- Irena Smith
"This is partly why I called the book The Golden Ticket, it's considered such a prize, it's considered such a win when you get into one of the top 10 or the top 20 schools. But then what do you win when you win?"
- Irena Smith
- Irena shares her experience with ADHD, including hypersensitivity to certain stimuli and difficulties with procrastination, time blindness, and being late.
- Irena shared her experience of writing a book in 20 years, from learning English as a child to publishing her book with a hybrid publisher after 70 rejections.
- Irena struggled to complete a book proposal due to a lack of focus and deadline pressure but eventually completed it with the help of a friend who also has ADHD.
[19:03 - 35:19] The challenges of the education system and personal growth
- Irena discusses the challenges of parenting while working on a dissertation, comparing her own experiences to those of her students who seem to have it easier.
- Irena offers a six-week program for ADHD women, including live coaching and a private community, with a discount for podcast listeners.
- Irena argues that a degree does not guarantee creativity, integrity, or long-term career success, and that other factors like socio-economic background and personal circumstances play a significant role in determining a person's potential.
- Irena discusses the impact of the Varsity Blues scandal on the college admissions system, highlighting the pressure on parents to send their children to elite universities and the potential for unethical behavior to continue.
- Irena suggests that companies should consider alternative measures of success, such as proven track records and grit, rather than solely relying on college degrees.
- Irena would have been more open-minded about the idea of not every student going to college, as her middle son eventually decided not to pursue higher education.
Website: https://www.irenasmith.com
Facebook: Irena Smith, Author
Instagram: @irena.smith
Tracy’s program: Your ADHD Brain is A-OK
