Jan 12
In the latest episode of "ADHD for Smart Ass Women," I sit down with Maya Ann, a geotechnical engineer, to discuss her journey of navigating relationships with ADHD and understanding coercive control. Maya shares her experiences, insights, and the strength she's found post-separation.
This powerful conversation covers a wide range of topics, including trauma, neurodiversity, the impact of toxic relationships, the importance of seeking support, and finding validation as a neurodiverse individual.
You won't want to miss Maya's story and the valuable lessons she has learned along the way.
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Quotes:
"I never felt like I fit in, especially with my extended family. No one ever got me. No one understood me. And I don't know, just knowing you're different, you try harder to fit in."
- Maya Ann
"The thing with controlling relationships that people probably don't understand–because you don't know why you're in it, you don't know why you stay–they convince you that they love you so much that it's sort of your problem that you don't love them as much. You're told all the time that they love you, so in theory you should feel love. You don't but they constantly tell you ‘I love you’."
- Maya Ann
"At work I'm open about the coercive control because I can see how it can happen with bosses and managers. The relationship doesn't need to be intimate. It can be with anyone really, and people can have that control over you and you might not even know it or realize it."
- Maya Ann
"Separation and divorce isn't easy for anybody. It's not what I wanted for my family or my children. But sometimes it is actually the right thing to do."
- Maya Ann
"I never felt like I fit in, especially with my extended family. No one ever got me. No one understood me. And I don't know, just knowing you're different, you try harder to fit in."
- Maya Ann
"The thing with controlling relationships that people probably don't understand–because you don't know why you're in it, you don't know why you stay–they convince you that they love you so much that it's sort of your problem that you don't love them as much. You're told all the time that they love you, so in theory you should feel love. You don't but they constantly tell you ‘I love you’."
- Maya Ann
"At work I'm open about the coercive control because I can see how it can happen with bosses and managers. The relationship doesn't need to be intimate. It can be with anyone really, and people can have that control over you and you might not even know it or realize it."
- Maya Ann
"Separation and divorce isn't easy for anybody. It's not what I wanted for my family or my children. But sometimes it is actually the right thing to do."
- Maya Ann
[00:00 - 21:47] ADHD diagnosis and personal growth
[21:47 - 39:01] ADHD, trauma, and workplace struggles
- Maya shares her personal experience with ADHD and how it impacted her life, including feeling responsible for everything in the household and struggling with control.
- Maya was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and struggled with social behaviors and following rules.
- Maya struggles with the validity of her PTSD diagnosis, feeling shame over her privileged childhood despite experiencing trauma.
[21:47 - 39:01] ADHD, trauma, and workplace struggles
- Maya shares their experience with trauma and how it has affected their life, including feeling triggered by everyday conversations and needing to work through it.
- Maya discusses her experience in a toxic relationship, mentioning financial control and alcohol abuse as red flags.
- Maya describes her partner's behavior as unhelpful and dismissive, feeling like they are doing all the household responsibilities while their partner watches TV and doesn't contribute.
[39:01 - 59:27] ADHD, relationships, and emotional abuse
- Maya separated from her husband after a conference, realizing they were unhappy in the relationship.
- Maya shares her experience with ADHD and how it affects their daily life, including their ability to mask their symptoms and the impact on their relationships.
- Maya shares her experience with neurodiversity and the challenges they face in social interactions, including feeling judged or misunderstood by others.
Learn more by connecting with Tracy through Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest or visit adhdforsmartwomen.com.
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EPISODE #262
